Even when we're not speaking with another, we are in fact communicating. Think about that just for a moment. Could it be that we don't want to speak, are unable to speak or that we have other things to do, deemed to be more important.
What is communication? It's a gesture, an expression, body language and words. It can be anyone of these or a combo of.
We Cannot Not Communicate.
We are always communicating something to the world or at least to anyone who is paying attention. Even on the days when we shut ourselves away from the world we choosing a form of communication - do not disturb without putting the sign out.
This brings up an interesting thought - do we consciously give a thought to whether we want to communicate or not? Picture this ...the phone is ringing and we know who the person is. Do we answer the call with enthusiasm, with dread or ignore the call?
Why is that? Could it be the anticipation or the fear of what's known, unknown, or what might be?I've had the privilege to interview many people throughout my career and more often people will say communication is a strength. And yet one of the first challenges encountered between people is with a communication challenge bubbling up. It could be something that was said, unsaid and inferred or interpreted through our set of filters resulting in a misunderstanding. The outcome can be friction, avoidance or conflict.
“Communication is the real work of leadership.”
I've had the privilege to interview many people throughout my career and more often people will say communication is a strength. And yet one of the first challenges encountered between people is with a communication challenge bubbling up. It could be something that was said, unsaid and inferred or interpreted through our set of filters resulting in a misunderstanding. The outcome can be friction, avoidance or conflict.
Raising my Awareness
My awareness was heightened on this topic a few weeks back and the seed was planted. I'm a fan of feeding my mind positive stuff and tuning into a podcast this week, the topic came up again. The example was when a call is coming in and how do we take the call. Is it like we've been waiting for that person to call us and delighted to hear from them? Or inconvenienced and abrupt? The same can be said for emails and texts.
This week I was putting my runners on to head out for a walk and had a light bulb moment in the moment.
Who Wants To Communicate
Today there are so many channels to communicate through. I take responsibility and ask myself the question. Do I want to communicate with his person? And do they want to communicate with me?
Think about it - it could be with a stranger, the boss, the kids, the staff and of course your partner or even a first date!!Taking responsibility for how we communicate in being authentic is the starting point. How the person we're communicating with chooses to respond is their responsibility.
We can feel aligned, neutral, excited, offended or defensive to name a few and every response is a choice. An inflated ego, seeing ourselves as a victim, a martyr, a know-it-all, the pleaser or the struggler is all it takes to go into effect to another.
Communication to Surprise and Delight
Situations arrive to challenge us and like a balloon escaping into the sky, it can take some courage to let go of a not so great experience. Then we treasure the conversation that had us feeling just that little bit special.
What if we were to treat the next conversation with anyone as if it was the very first time we'd spoken. I'm not referring to acting as if they're a complete stranger instead with the warmth and the vitality we would appreciate ourselves.
When we're being authentic in our conversation we have nothing to fear. That's giving ourselves and the other person the space to exist. The opposite is to take space away, shrinking the opportunity for openness.
Next time the phone rings or the text arrives, take a second to raise your awareness before you respond.
The Desire to Engage
To raise your awareness on communication, keep a pocket pad and jot down what comes up for you on the subject. Who do you have a desire to engage with and why. With the people you find challenging why is that? Therein could lay the answer to flick the switch to transform the next conversation.
You're welcome to share your wins or a breakthrough you've experienced with me, just reply below. I'm just started jotting down daily wins journal separate to my daily gratitude journal. It's refreshing to recognise what can take place in a week to put that little extra zing in our step.
And if you're interested in feeding your mind with positive media, then contact me here.
Till next week, make what you're doing matter :)
