It started with a post on facebook.

The word was out to join a group of like minded friends to participate in a two week cleanse. You know, kick the coffee, the alcohol and the sugar for two weeks, that kind of cleanse. Without a thought I said yes.

It's a week and a bit on and how am I doing you ask?

Coffee perfect score...'amazing'
Sugar...'a little'
Alcohol a combo of fruit and sugar...well I had a birthday and allowed myself a celebratory glass of wine for the occasion. In the moment, I made the choice to enjoy a chilled wine and savour the experience with friends...'enjoy with no regrets'

I committed to participate in the cleanse challenge without a second thought - I'm in I said. Every now and again I find it's a good thing to recalibrate, to know I am in control. You may say of course you're always in control - yes I am however it's easy to run on autopilot and not recognise that machine running.

My autopilot had become the gradually and suddenly increase in the amount of coffee I'd been consuming each day. It's become a thing with me and I didn't like it for a minute. Driving demanded a coffee as a companion. What the hell !!! I wouldn't take a cup of tea for a drive.

With the passing of my Dad recently a heavy feeling had taken up residence in my chest and I wanted it to feel this without any outside influences. I'm very aware that all of the things we put into our mouths have an influence on the way we feel and our energy levels. I decided amidst the grief I wanted to be connected directly to the feeling.

I'm doing this for me and to allow the space for Dad to reside in that special place in my heart.

Throughout the week there's been things that have only added fuel to my quest. For starters, mid week I recognised there is this mental fog. It's like a curtain raise in slow motion, reaching a point where it hovers around the brows. It's then I realise it exists. Each day the fog raises just a little higher to the point that it's lifted right out of the top of my head. I now have that clarity and I love it. Strangely enough until I started the cleanse the mental fog wasn't obvious to me.

Then there's the taste buds waking up from a deep sleep to become alert and alive. Food tastes amazing, exciting and every mouthful is meaningful.

“If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”

— Steve Jobs

One of the distinctions I've gained is that I'm prepared to break up the patterns that no longer serve me. Otherwise they take on a life of their own like the coffee thing. Everyday doing the same thing, a coffee at this point, another coffee to accompany that, another while I do this and so it goes.

Tuning into a podcast last week I heard a dynamic woman speak about her life and the challenges she overcame from early childhood to be the person she is today. Her name is Ella Cojocaru and if you're into listening to other people's stories, hers is one of tragedy to triumph.

Ella spoke about breaking patterns of behaviour. While we're dependant on air and water for survival it's not ideal for me to be dependant on doing things and keeping stuff that no longer serves me.

Will I go back to coffee? Yes I'm sure I will as I love my cup of black coffee at the start of each day. However I know that first cup back will taste different as my taste buds are more alive than ever. It may taste a little odd at first and then I'll savour the flavour and the aroma that is as much a part of the sensory experience. I know I can take it or leave it.

That heavy feeling in my chest is not weighty anymore. Instead it's a like the butterfly emerging from the chrysalis; authentic and perfect. Reflecting on my time with Dad, I've realised it pays to get things into perspective through appreciating who we have while we have them. Because gradually then suddenly things change and there's no going back. The moment has passed, never to return.

Till next week make it a great one :)