What do we love more, the stories we tell ourselves or the stories of others. And is there some common ground between the stories... do these stories lead to even better lives?

The stories we tell range from teeny occurrences like what happened when we bought the morning coffee through to major - life altering events like the loss of a loved one or meeting the love of our lives and everything between. Then there's the funny stuff in-between like the head of my golf club departing the shaft to follow my ball up the fairway - hilarious!

When I'm out for early morning walk, I find it fascinating the number of people I pass deeply engaged with another, in a story about something going on in their lives or the lives of others. And in that instant we can be perceptive, picking up on a snippet of a conversation and it's as if we know the rest of the story.

Research states that sharing stories allow us to make sense out of otherwise puzzling or random events, smoothing out some of the decisions we have made to create something that is meaningful and sensible out of the chaos of our lives.

Every story has a few of these in common.

The characters
What happened
The context, significance, motives
What should have happened
Not fair - why it isn't my fault
The person telling the story is always right OR my fault - not my fault

“Storytelling isn’t just how we construct our identities, stories are our identities.”

— John Holmes

Our stories shape our future.

The stories we tell ourselves shape who we become. Stick to the facts, choose to ditch the labels and judgement we pass on ourselves and others. Instead creating the space to allow ourselves to just be and on purpose to what it is we truly desire and to support others to do the same. Next time you find yourself telling a story, tune in. What message are you trying to convey? is it one of moving toward where you want to be or the flip-side, keeping you back there...and frozen wondering why there is no progress.

For some, telling stories of struggle that turn out well may give people the hope they need to live productive lives. Story telling isn’t always positive though such as telling stories about our mate, loved one or family, focusing on negative traits, causing us to forget about the positive traits we once cherished.

Sharing stories can allow us to make sense out of otherwise puzzling or random events, smoothing out some of the decisions we have made to create something that is meaningful and sensible out of the chaos of our lives if we're aware of how our mind operates.